Today’s topic is a doozy: Decluttering sentimental items.
Sentimental decluttering is undoubtedly the hardest step in the battle to regain your space. I wholeheartedly recommend procrastination here.
Declutter as much of your non-sentimental stuff as you can before you tackle the emotionally charged things.
This will give you time to get comfortable making decluttering decisions. You’ll also see the benefits of a clearer space, which creates a positive feedback loop where you want to declutter more stuff.
When it’s time to start on the sentimental items, the Sentimental Declutter Method will help you do it in a way that’s effective and ADHD-friendly.
Why sentimental clutter is tough for ADHDers
Before we jump into how to make sentimental decluttering easier, you know I have to take a behind-the-scenes detour to look at what makes this difficult for people with ADHD.
Knowing why ADHD makes decluttering sentimental items hard makes it easier to spot these issues when they come up and deal with them effectively. That said, if you’re ready to started now, you can jump ahead to the steps.
Emotional dysregulation makes everything feel intense
ADHD can make it hard for us to regulate the intensity of our emotions, and decluttering sentimental items brings up a lot of emotions.
You might feel ashamed about having held onto so much stuff or guilt about letting go of things you feel like you should want to keep.
The feelings are disproportionately large, so it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and want to avoid the process of going through everything.
Executive function is in short supply
Executive function refers to the mental processes that let you to do things like make a plan, manage your time, make decisions, and ignore distractions.
Decluttering requires all of those things, which makes it a cognitively heavy task for ADHDers. It’s almost impossible for us to sustain this for long periods of time without it wreaking havoc on our energy and emotional state.
Things serve as reminders of memories
ADHDers tend to have pretty shabby long-term and working memories.
We use objects like external storage for our memories, so getting rid of them feels like we’re discarding the item and the memory. Even if we don’t want the actual thing, we often still want the memory.
This has always been my biggest struggle with ADHD in general and sentimental decluttering in particular: My memory is terrible.
Like I’ve-watched-a-movie-for-the-first-time-multiple-times level of terrible.
I held onto things for ages before I realized I could preserve the memory and let go of the item by writing about it, taking a photo of it, or repurposing it into something I wanted to use.
The Sentimental Declutter Method
ADHDers face more obstacles than the average person when it comes to sentimental decluttering, so you need an actual ADHD-friendly strategy.
If you’ve tried general decluttering methods before, you’ve probably seen a version of my favorite ADHD-ignorant line: “Your memories live in you, not your stuff.”
Excuse me a moment while I roll my eyes straight out of my head.
Anyway, this method will help you make progress with your sentimental decluttering without leaving you exhausted or devastated about losing all your memories.
Step 1: Pick a very small target
Choose a very small clutter target to ensure the session is short and not overwhelming.
Aim for a size you think you can declutter in about 10 minutes. A good target has a clear finish line, like one small box of travel souvenirs or 10 letters from your high school BFF.
If your ultimate goal is to declutter a large area like a room, break it into little chunks.
Step 2: Sort items into 4 categories
Go through each item and sort them into one of these categories:
- Keep: You’re happy to see it and would notice if it disappeared
- Donate / Toss: You don’t want it
- Preserve: You want the memory, but not the item
- Review: You can’t decide within 10 seconds
If any item triggers intense emotions, put it in Review and keep going if you can. If emotions are still high, take a quick breather to settle down or finish this session tomorrow.
Step 3: Schedule Preserve and Review sessions
Review
Put them in a box, label it Review + date (about 2 weeks from now), and put a reminder in your phone or calendar.
This waiting period is important because sentimental Review decisions often need some time to marinate. This helps ensure you make a choice you’re confident about and won’t regret.
When the time comes, go through the flow chart again. If anything still ends up in Review, keep that item for now.
If you’re doing several sentimental clutter sessions throughout the week, you can collect all the Review items together. You don’t need to schedule multiple Review dates.
Preserve
Put them in a box, label it Preserve + date (as soon as you can), and set a reminder in your phone.
When that date comes, decide how you want to save the memories, like taking photos of the items or writing about them. Need ideas? Read my article on creative ways to preserve sentimental items.
Step 4: Put everything else away
- Donate / Toss: Separate your Donate and Toss items. Put Toss in the trash/recycling. Put Donate by the door to drop off as soon as possible.
- Keep: Put them where they go.
You’re done! Congratulations!
Your ADHD brain isn’t going to reward you with dopamine for finishing this, even though it absolutely should. So make sure you celebrate to get your dopamine boost.
Not only do you deserve it, but doing this creates a positive connection with decluttering that will make it easier keep doing it.
You’re not doing it wrong — it’s just hard
Decluttering sentimental items is tough, not because you’re doing it wrong, but because you’re human (and you have ADHD. Sorry, girl).
When I first started decluttering my sentimental items, I didn’t have this method worked out yet. I did a lot of crying and a lot of despairing over my inability to do something “simple” without having a meltdown.
The method above will you help make progress clearing out the clutter without regret and without disintegrating into a useless puddle of emotions like I did.
At the end of the process, you’ll have fewer things, safely documented memories, and enough energy to still feel like a functioning person.
